Time To Eat Cake
Highlights: BoringNate makes a desperate attempt to secure his and Blair’s love; Chuck teams up with Blair for one more round of espionage; SluttySerena won’t listen to reason and would rather listen to her libido
BoringNate drags Blair to NYU territory to teach her how to take the subway. She’s mortified. He calls himself fantastic. Aw, he’s so pretty.
RockinRufus takes DownerDan and KleptoJenny trunk shopping. He’s banking on getting a lot of money from selling the gallery. They see him eying a ring, perhaps for JudgyLily.
SluttySerena has B over to tell her how casual her relationship with Gabe is, even though they got fake married. B wants to stalk him.
Chuck and BN shoot hoops. Instead, of wearing the preppy hip hop b-ball outfit he wore in Season 1, C is now wearing a zip-up and a collared shirt and it’s just as ridiculous. BN feels weird talking to him about B but C doesn’t care although he offers his bed to B so she can be closer to BN.
RR and JL have Gabe and SS over to eat snacks. I have no idea what the hell is going on here. Gabe leaves to do work. B texts SS, “Has the bf bailed yet?” Good timing.
B waits on the street in all black and a beret when C pulls up and asks who she’s spying on. She snaps a pic of Gabe and Poppycock hugging when Poppy arrives to pick him up. I love BlairandChuck.
SS tells B over the phone that B should care about BN and not Gabe. Gabe appears in SS’s room to talk.
B tells BN about spying on Gabe. He gets jealous of C because B and C are up to their spying ways again.
Gabe tells SS he’s not sleeping with Poppycock. He doesn’t want to see Poppy again but Poppy has business connections for him. SS calls Poppycock her friend and doesn’t want to be one of two girlfriends.
At the Poor Cafe Gallery, KJ and DD tell LongLostVanessa, about RR looking at the ring. They say it would be weird for him to marry JL but it’s okay since he’s happy.
SS tires on dresses while B scolds her about Gabe who fell in love with SS the first time he saw her. At Butter. B knows BN will always be true to her and is afraid Gabe will not be the same to SS. SS chooses now to remind B that BN slept with SS a year ago. B warns that Gabe is having Poppycock’s cake and eating SS’s too. I. Love. Blair.
LLV wants to savor her time at the gallery since it’s being sold. RR tells her that she’s got time to savor because they have no offers. He’s decided to sell his catalog which is declining in value since he stopped touring.
BN takes C apartment hunting to show that he loves B and wants C to stay away from her. C suggests BN pee on B to mark his territory. B calls C to complain that SS isn’t listening to her and he says he’ll help prove Gabe is false.
B arrives at JL’s party to take Gabe on a tour of SS’s home. C brings Poppycock. Poppycock yells at Gabe and wants to investors to not invest in him. He’s done with Poppycock and chooses SS over money. Then he leaves to clear his head.
LLV is throwing back beers at the Poor House, playing I Never alone until DD arrives. She tells him she slept with C. He says he won’t judge and then says her sleeping with C was a mistake. So much for not judging.
RR invites KJ to JL’s party. She says she knows something’s wrong with him and says it’s okay if he wants to marry JL. She then advises him to take his own advice and take risks.
At the party, Gabe laments to SS about the lost investors. She goes to find JL to invest instead. C asks Gabe how he met SS and Gabe says it was at Butter.
BN surprises B at the party to tell her about the apartment. He asks her to move in. C tells them how Gabe said he met SS at Butter. They all know that’s not possible because Butter wasn’t open that night. C wants them all to confront SS but BN wants C to do it alone so he can take B to see their new place.
Gabe pitches to JL and she’s in. SS is gleeful. B pulls SS away. She and C tell SS that Gabe is lying. SS doesn’t believe them.
Gabe is still working the party for investors. RR wants to invest. Gabe doesn’t want poor money. RR won’t take no for an answer.
BN refuses to help B and C. He thinks it’s one of C’s games. He decides to trust B to go with C.
C and B awake the next morning in the limo, having driven to find Georgina. C decides to go in alone. B realizes that C doesn’t need her there at all, and he simply wanted her to come along so that she wouldn’t check out her new digs with BN.
C finds Georgina who has been saved by Jesus.
SS lies in bed with Gabe and tells him about B and C’s worries. He claims not to remember much of the night he met SS except for Georgina’s red hair, as SS describes it. Except Georgina doesn’t have red hair. Dun dun DUN!!!!
C talks to Georgina about the Jesus freaks. She has reformed her evil ways, Jesus has forgiven her, and she and SS never went to Butter.
With SS gone, Poppycock pops up and jumps all over Gabe. SS calls C to say she was wrong about Gabe. C plans to pick her up but B has taken the limo home.
Gabe and Poppycock add up their investments. He gets a message from SS that says she wants to talk. Poppycock wants to avoid SS. RR arrives to give Gabe a check.
B goes to her new apartment. Going with C was a mistake. She loves Murray Hill. BN was jealous of her hanging out with C and apologizes. He gives her a single Hey instead of his hey hey hey catchphrase and tells her he loves her.
SS calls C but she’s too late. Gabe is gone. Poppycock pops up and says Gabe left without her and with half a million dollars.
At the Poor House, DD tells RR he already knows he won’t be going to Yale because they can’t afford it. KJ and DD give RR the ring they bought for him to give to JL. He calls them an inspiration and offers to pay them back. He then brags about his investment with Gabe.
In Jesus land, C tells Georgina that B took the limo. At the mention of B, Georgina suddenly remembers she has the day free and would love to get back into the city.