Microblogging And Essaying

The big news is I’m writing a creative nonfiction collection. I realized this when I started microblogging about two and a half weeks ago. In case you missed it, here they are.

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One year ago today, I came back to life. Iโ€™d had my first cofeature back in March for B J Spoke Gallery where I reconnected with people I hadnโ€™t seen and had known for over a decade. I became good friends with the co-feature, whose poetry was brilliant. A few months later, I was walking with Whitman. The open mic was fun. My reading made me feel energized. For the first time in a long time, I felt completely at ease, totally in control, and simply happy. I met people from far and wide; several still keep in touch. The band 1 Step Ahead played, starting with a few bars of Brown Eyed Girl since Iโ€™d referenced it in a poem. Then a few months later, I was named 2020 Long Island Poet of the Year for @waltwhitmanbirthplace . I am forever grateful for this day, this reading, and all the people in my life who have gotten me through and continue to. #poetsoninstagram #poetsofinstagram #longislandpoets #longislandpoetry #waltwhitmanbirthplace #1stepaheadband #walkingwithwhitman #bjspokegallery @b.j.spokegallery #gettingthroughit #grief #heartbreak #gratitude #grateful #longislandwriter

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A few days ago, I ventured toward the water and found a path and sat on a bench and cried because this path has been here my whole life and I just realized it was here, and look at all the years Iโ€™ve lost out on it. Either last year or the year before, I started walking in this park. Iโ€™m sure I came to this park as a kid, but I have no memory of that. Three years ago, I took my parents here for a summer outdoor concert. Still never knew about the path. I keep going every day. Thereโ€™s something about nature that heals the heart one tiny bit at a time. #grantpark #longisland #gettingthroughit #gratitude #grief #heartbreak #fitspo

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This is me sad & strong & broken & hopeful & devastated & healing & grateful. I know the exact date I was last at this park, the day two friends would marry in a wedding that was going to be the wedding of the century. A few months before, they were no longer my friends because they were his friends and when he left, they left. They got married, and I came here. And I walked and walked. Today, freshly wounded, I walked and walked again. And thatโ€™s what I keep doing. I keep going through it to get through it. #gettingthroughit #longisland #gratitude #alwayslookup #fitspo #grateful #grief #heartbreak #heckscherpark #greatsouthbay

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Nature is a newish thing for me. Iโ€™ve always been scared of itโ€”Iโ€™ve always been scared of everything. Something in my brain switched either off or on and I understand it more. I still jump at every sound. And also I stand in awe at the vibrant life that simply is. Here I am in nature in the summer wearing a fall jacket because nature does what it does. The heart wants what the heart wants. I feel silly and foolish for hurting, and also what a blessing to release whatโ€™s been stored there for so long. This doesnโ€™t mean I havenโ€™t been truly happy all this time. It means simply Iโ€™ve been both. Gleeful and awkward and laughing and wailing and always thankful for the wonders of this world. #gratitude #gettingthroughit #alwayslookup #grateful #grief #heartbreak #newyork #iloveny #ispyny

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Sometimes FB does nice things like this video of me and my brother. We werenโ€™t super close growing up. We liked each other and had movies we like and still quote from. We liked some of the same music; heโ€™s the reason I adore Def Leppard. Also, we made fun of our parents together. We never really hung out though. At some point in our youngish adult lives, we started to treat each other like real people. When I was married, I always made a point to invite him along on nonromantic fun excursions. Looking back on those years, I realize he returned the favor by calling me once a week. Our sibling adventures began before my marriage, continued during it, and keep going now. In the past weeks, this is the advice heโ€™s given me: 1. Keep being yourself. 2. Keep your head up. Iโ€™m grateful to have a brother I can call my friend. #gratitude #siblingadventures #siblingbonding #bestbrother #gettingthroughit #grief #heartbreak #grateful #longisland #queens #siblingadvice #familyiseverything

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