Official Voice Over-er

Remember back in June when I joked around about that Groupon I got for that voice acting workshop and I was all like This could be my side hustle ha ha ha? Yeah, so fast forward to the next few months when I find myself deep in commercial and narrative scripts and on three separate phone calls devoted to learning about the industry and my own voice. Yeah, that’s right. I signed up for the course.

Fast forward to October. Instead of a phone call, I was up for a face-to-face session of recording several of those scripts using the voice I’d been working on for those few months. Voice Coaches set up some studio time for me on a Friday  as per my request to make it “before the snow comes.”

Now,  you may remember the last time I drove upstate for a reading at Bright Hill Press and Literary Center. That’s located in  Treadwell, NY. Do you know where that is? If you’re answer is “no,” then you’re not alone because the GPS didn’t know where the heck it was, either. There was a lot of drive-crying when I missed a turn and wound around some mountain roads and double-backed a few times until taking myself to Oneonta via the road to Delhi because the road to Oneonta from Treadwell was closed. I mean, the reading was totally worth it. And I also ended up drive-crying on the way home when I didn’t even get lost; yes, there was drive-crying because I was so proud that I didn’t get lost on the way home.

That little refresher is to inform you that there was no drive-crying on this trip! There was a case of Wow, I forgot to bring extra deodorant so let me find a CVS to buy some because the Great Natural Deodorant Experiment of 2018 sometimes doesn’t pan out so well. But there was no drive-crying and there was no CVS-crying or Where’s The Deodorant At-Crying. Overall, no crying. The studio was in Albany, so the GPS knew where that was and it also found the CVS without a hitch.

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Instead, there was a whole lot of being completely psyched to be recording my demo. When I got to the studio, I was even more psyched because they had awesome mints and fun fish.

Then we recorded. Oh, btw, “we” is me and the producer-tech-voice-over-er-instructor Josh. That guy is the definition of pumped up. Like, every phone call started with Christina, are you ready??!!??!! The same thing with the demo. Christina, are you totally ready??!?!?!!!When I got into the booth after a tour of the absolutely gorgeous studio and found the mic magically at my height, I asked him how short the person before me in the booth had been. He probably wasn’t expecting this question, but I notice when things are actually my height because that rarely happens. Turns out he lowered it a whole lot after briefly meeting me in the waiting area. Ha! Stealth. Also we found the smallest headphones because short gal’s got a small head, too, yo.

We plowed through script after script. Every take was exhilarating. It went by so fast. Seriously fast. I can read! Out loud! All those years of being an English Professor, paying off in a little booth in Albany.

After we finished recording, we started talking about when my demo would be ready, how to land jobs as voice talent (that’s me! I’m the talent!), and networking. The conversation derailed into hockey and tiny towns where there’s nothing to do. We got back around to the voice stuff and then it was done. And done!

I knew I’d get the downloads for the demo in a few weeks. I knew I would get demo CDs in the mail around the same time. When the email arrived with the link (it’s here!), I was excited. When the CDs arrived, I was thrilled.

But then? Then! I got a certificate! It’s got my name on it and everything! Okay, okay, so I have diplomas and certificates for stuff I’ve completed. Usually, I’m like, oh that’s nice, here’s a frame. This one, though, was totally unexpected. I didn’t know I’d get a certificate, so I squealed like a five year old and danced around my kitchen when I saw what it was.

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And that’s the story of how I’m now an official voice over-er. Thank you, Voice Coaches, for the motivation, the fun, and the voice adventure.

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Sob Story

[This may be more for me than for you. Or maybe I just want pity.]

I’m down to my last pair of contacts. I’ve been wearing my glasses. I need a new eye doctor. My old one retired and the one who took over basically told me I’m old and listed a bunch of things that were about to go wrong with my eyes. I already have terrible vision so this information was not doing any good. Also, they offered a test that insurance didn’t cover but they said would replace a dilation. I did it and paid for it. Then they told me I needed to come in for a dilation. I explained how I did the other test. They said it wasn’t the same. This is not a way to be a medical professional.

The check engine light came on in my car. I brought it to the mechanic who says it’s a faulty sensor. He suggested I take it to the dealership because I might get them to fix it for free because of a recall several years back.

I call the dealership. They tell me my car has a current recall. I say I got it completed. They say, no, there’s a second part to the current recall. I say, okay I work from home on Fridays so I can bring it in then. They say, we don’t do recalls on Fridays. Then they go to check to see if they can make an exception. Then they say they don’t have the part for the recall and they will call me.

Then I drive around with the check engine light still on. I feel like Penny.

Then I can’t get into my house. The door is locked. I have the key. The key won’t open the lock. I can open the screen door with the key. The inside door won’t open. All the other screen doors lock from the inside only. I call the locksmith. I sit on my side step and cry. The locksmith says he’ll be there in 25 minutes. An hour passes. I call the locksmith. He says his GPS says he’ll be there in 15 minutes.

In a half hour, the locksmith arrives. I show him the door and the key. He tries the key. It doesn’t work. He asks to see the other doors. I show him the doors. He says that he will try the front door. It will cost $600 in the end if he needs to drill through the lock and then replace it. I say, what about breaking into the side screen door? He looks at me puzzled. I say, this key will open the inside door if I can get by the screen door. He says he will try.

He uses a rudimentary system of inflatable balloons and tubes. It looks like a blood pressure checker for doors. The door pops open. If it hadn’t, I was ready to slash open some screens and unscrew some hinges. Screen doors be gone.

The key works on the inside door. He tells me I can check the front door and asks if he can come in. I tell him to come in as I grab the door knob of the front door that’s jammed. It simply opens. I look at him. He looks at me. I’m like, You know it was jammed. He’s like, yes it was.

Because otherwise, why are we here?

Then we play around with the lock. We try to replicate the problem. We can’t. I say that I’m getting new screen doors that can unlock from the outside in case this happens again.

Then I pay him much less than $600. While we wait for my credit card to go through, he becomes mesmerized by the poster in my kitchen. It’s a play, I say. He asks, Shakespeare? I say, yes it’s a full play on a poster. He says it’s cool. Then he leaves. In the mailbox is a postcard from the car dealership about the current recall. Again.

A red light on the dashboard in my car pops on along with the words CHECK MANUAL and a loud dinging sound. The red of this light compliments the orange glow of the check engine light that’s still on. The manual tells me that the engine is too cold. That can’t be right. Then it says not to drive too quickly or carry a heavy load. I realize that I need an oil change, so I hope that’s what it is. The rain is teeming and I go back to the mechanic and ask for an oil change and tell him about the new light. He doesn’t seem concerned about the light and doesn’t ask follow up questions about possible noises, and that makes me feel better about it. I remind him that the engine light is still on and he says he’ll ignore it.

The rain is still teeming when he calls me and says that the car is ready to go. I go get the car. My plan to get into my jammies early and watch movies has been spoiled but now only one light glows on my dashboard again.

In a few mornings when it’s no longer raining, I decide I really want to walk outside even if it’s cold. I bundle up. I walk outside. It’s sunny and cold but by the end I’m a little sweaty. Things are feeling good. After my walk, I come inside. My glasses fall on the floor and snap in half. I sob. Literally sob. I cannot see without them and I have just the one pair of contacts left and I can’t wear contacts every waking moment. I call in sick to work. I cry some more.

I go to the eye doctor. Everyone there is so very nice. The doctor talks about how he loved an English class he took one summer and how he hosts a sci-fi radio show. This is refreshing since most people who first learn I teach writing tell me about that one essay-writing course they had that they hated. Instead, as we check out my eyes, we talk about Stan Lee and new kinds of contact lenses. He says my eye sight has gotten a little better. He doesn’t tell me what might go wrong with my eyes and doesn’t insinuate that I am old and falling apart.

I find new frames that are almost an exact match to my now broken frames. I shell out a pretty penny for the exam and the contacts, but the contacts have a huge rebate and insurance is paying for my new glasses. I give the doc my card with the astronaut to tell him about my sci-fi poetry, and he gives me a CD of his show plus a website where I can listen to the archives. I’m going back later this week to check out how the new contacts fit my eyeballs.

Then in my night table, I find an old pair of glasses. They seem to be my current prescription. They can tide me over. I can see.

Happy ending.

Frankenstein Is Alive! At The Morgan

Since going to see the Frankenstein exhibit was a literary-infused outing, I wound up writing about it for Book Riot instead of blogging about it here. There are probably other things I could be blogging about, but I’m finding myself in a whirlwind or vacuum or some other kind of place where moving air is a consuming factor. So for a taste of a jaunt into NYC, head over to Book Riot to read all about how I did not get kicked out of the Frankenstein exhibit. It’s right here: Frankenstein Is Alive! At The Morgan.

Ahem

Groupon knows me. I’ve always been interested in voice work aka voice acting aka voice over. I’ve never said this to Groupon. I rarely go on Groupon. For no reason at all, I went onto Groupon and the first thing that popped up was a voice over seminar thingie. That’s serendipity, right? I signed right up.

A few days later, I’m in a conference room in a weird hotel in Jersey with a few other people interested in voice stuff and one guy who’s been in the business for over 20 years.

I learned that voice acting is a job like any other job. You hustle, you get work. You don’t hustle, you don’t get work. There are lots of jobs out there, and the industry is growing, which means more jobs. Lots of voices get jobs because they know people from previous jobs, so getting known and being professional are two keys to the hustle.

I’m a hustler. I like being on time. I can do this.

We ended the session by recording, which was a lot of fun. We also were able to choose to get feedback the next day, which I did. I learned a few things about what my voice would be suited to. Then they told me something I already know–I talk fast. The guy on the phone told me that more than once. I talk faster than the average speed of conversation. I know this so well that I sometimes tell my classes that if they ever don’t catch something I say, they need to tell me to slow down. Really, though, why does everyone talk so slowly? There are so many words and only so much time!

New life plan: voice work side hustle possibly becoming voice work only hustle.

Dizzy Art

The Nassau County Museum of Art had an exhibition called Fool The Eye and as a way to continue the perk-me-up adventure, I took myself on the last day. The art was dizzying at times and a little creepy at others. Additionally, there was a film about eating paper.

These things below are not the actual things they seem to be. The cardboard looking stuff and paper looking stuff is made of wood. The toilet paper is marble.

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This looks like it’s 3-D and it’s not.

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The frame isn’t a frame. It’s part of the painting.

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This is made from Superman postcards and such.

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He’s not real, yo.

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Yeah, I don’t know how I took this upside down.

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The chocolates aren’t real.

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I became the art!

 

Free Stuff, By Popular Demand

A few people recently asked me how I get all my free stuff. Here’s how. Enjoy.

First, enter every contest you see, no matter what it is. I once entered a contest I saw after a rerun of How I Met Your Mother for a vacation in a tropical place that I don’t remember. Clearly, I didn’t win the vacation. A few months later, I got a call from my mom saying, “Your bike is here.” And I answered, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” So she repeated, “Your. Bike. Is. Here.” And I was like, “Yeah, Ma, I heard you, but I still don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sure enough, there was a Nerve bike in a box outside with my name on it. I fretted at first, thinking somehow someone had stolen my identity, but then realized if that were the case, that someone would have gotten the bike; they wouldn’t have sent it to me. Then I saw in itty-bitty font on the shipping label How I Met Your Mother. I looked up the contest online and saw that the runner up prize was a bike.

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I entered a contest online for Hershey’s something or other. See? I don’t even know what it was for. I won a barbecue utensil set. I have no idea what that has to do with Hershey’s but it’s all mine.

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I found a code for a sweepstakes for Capn Crunch cereal. I won a cornhole game. Okay, fun. A few weeks later, a 70 pound box arrives at my door. It’s a massive cornhole game.

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Also, I won my backyard patio set through a random sweepstakes.

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There used to be a thing called Viggle, and it used to listen to television and I’d get points and redeem them. That’s how I got albums for free by Ed Sheeran, Andy Grammer, and Hozier. I also got a free toaster and a free crockpot. Alas, Viggle is no longer a thing.

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However, there are three sites I use constantly for free stuff–mostly gift cards for Amazon, Starbucks, AMC theatres, and Dunkin Donuts. Strong suggestion: create an email account separate from your main account and use it specifically for this stuff. That way you can avoid the inundation of emails from these sites in your normal account.

Swagbucks: Sign up using this link: http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/Zine454545

Buy stuff through SB. Just log on, find a store online (like Macys or Amazon or Harry & David or Sears or Staples or even Dominos–really lots of stores), and then shop. As long as you go to the website through SB, you’ll earn points on the amount you spend.

You can also earn points by watching videos, taking surveys, and answering a daily poll. Sometimes earning points is slow, but they add up eventually, and you can redeem points for gift cards. Thanks to S I found this.

MyPoints: Sign up using this link: https://www.mypoints.com?rb=23859038

Same thing–buy stuff, watch videos, vote, and take surveys. You can also print coupons, or even just browse coupons, and earn points. Redeem points for stuff.

Bing: Sign up using this link: https://www.bing.com/

The easiest thing you can do is search. You get 5 points a search for a max of 150 points a day. If you use MS Edge, you can get up to 170 points. You can also search on your phone daily for another 100 points.  There are also quick quizzes or searches of the day that you click on and get 5 to 50 points. If you buy stuff from the affiliate store, you can get points, but I don’t do that because I don’t buy video games or other tech-like things, but if you do, go for it.

Another website that does only surveys is E-Rewards. (e-rewards.com). It takes a really, really long time to accrue points, at least it does for me. I guess if you want free magazines, then those are easier to attain. For the bigger stuff–iTunes and Starbucks and hotel points–it takes seemingly forever. I also sometimes have problems with different browsers. If you have some downtime, hop on and take a few surveys. Eventually, you might earn something.

Now for credit cards!

Chase Amazon earns you points for everyday shopping, more points for groceries and gas, and even more points for shopping on Amazon. If you use Amazon, it’s a good card to have.

Amex, and Bank of America both have points and cashback options, and usually their gift card options for points is pretty good– CVS, The Gap, AMC, and lots of other places. Discover has cash back. They used to have an amazing points system where you could buy actual stuff with points, which is how I am the proud owner of a paper shredder.

I also get points from Fios. I usually redeem them for Dunkin Donuts cards.

Since I have TMobile, I downloaded their TMobile Tuesdays app. Again, lots of Dunkin Donuts cards from them.

I have the Dunkin app and the Starbucks app, and every time I get a gift card, I add them to the apps. That way, I earn points for buying things. I can get free stuff every time I get to a certain number of points (or stars for Starbucks). I don’t remember ever really having to pay for anything at either of these places.

I also have loyalty membership thingies for basically anywhere I’ve ever shopped. Dicks Sporting Goods, 16 Handles, CVS (I know their markup is insane, but when you get a sale, points, and coupons, you can get away with paying up to 80% off, which I’ve done), any grocery store, AMC, Regal, a bunch of hotels, and a bunch of airlines. Points add up, especially if they don’t expire.

There is a whole lot of free stuff out there in the world waiting to be owned. Go get some for yourself.

The World Is Sound

IMG_0625The Rubin Museum of Art brings the East to the West. The Himalayan art makes a strong impact in scrolls and statues. In addition to the visual, audio was the focus in The World Is Sound, an exhibit that offers chants, instruments, artistic snippets of sound, and a ceiling to floor soundtrack from the first floor to the top and back down. Really, sound is everywhere all the time, and in this exhibit, it’s electric.

Normally, I skip elevators, but since I was starting on the top floor and working my way down, I took it. The elevators played interviews with artists about sound. This is how all-encompassing this exhibit is.

IMG_0626The curators want everyone to experience sound with your entire body through all five senses, so some art appeared next to signs that read Touch To Hear, and you could hear the vibration of a chant that went along with a piece of art. I like museums that encourage touching stuff. I also like museums that don’t allow you to touch stuff so that I can try to touch stuff and feel a bit of a rebel when I pull it off.

I found the Om Room that plays recordings of people chanting om. I sat and hummed and listened. I went back a second time before leaving the museum because it was really neat and relaxing.

Next to that was a video that showed graphics of space and molecules and talked about sound vibrations. It was stunning with a vibrant gold statue of a bodhisattva next to it. A bodhisattva is someone reaching toward enlightenment who helps others do the same, one step down from being a Buddha, one who has attained enlightenment. See how much you can learn in one trip to the museum?

There was a bank of headphones to listen to short compositions of sound and song. I like almost all of them. While I usually refrain from putting on public headphones, these were necessary for the full experience and did not seem germy at all. The descriptions of the compositions were also artistic.

Then came my favorite thing in the whole exhibit aside from the Om Room. I did this twice. They had a recording of someone reading the Bardo Thodol, the Tibetan Book of the Dead. To experience the reading, there was a bench, and you lay yourself down on the bench to listen. Some people were sitting. I laid down. Then I went back and laid down again because I like laying down in places, especially in NYC (see: Yoga In Times Square and that trip to the Whitney where after you lie down you find out you’ve been temperature recorded). I want to find that recording because I would lie down and listen to it every day.

After taking in the permanents and other exhibits on the other floors, all the while listening to the sounds coming from the center of the museums spiral staircase, I headed back to Penn. On my way, I found the key to the city.

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A Panel Acceptance!

Poets Rita Banerjee, Christina M. Rau, Marlena Chertock, and Alex DiFrancesco will be featured in the panel “Fantasy As Reality: Activism and Catharsis Through Speculative Writing” at the 2018 Split This Rock Poetry Festival. Split This Rock: Poems of Provocation & Witness will take place from April 19-21, 2018 in Washington, D.C. You can read more […]

via Split this Rock 2018 Poetry Festival Panel feat. Rita Banerjee, Christina M. Rau, Marlena Chertock, and Alex DiFrancesco Announced! — Rita Banerjee

My Last Mug Cake

Some people bake in their free time. I’m not talking about a career (here’s to you, Southpaw Sweets–keep on doing what you’re doing). I’m talking about a hobby. Like they’ll find themselves in a moment of “what should I do now?” and they decide, “I should go to the kitchen, mix and measure things, put the mixture into a hot oven, and create something edible.” It doesn’t even have to be for a reason. If you haven’t guessed, I’m not one of those people.

I don’t mind cooking. I’ve always tried recipes that are on the simple side if  they seem healthy and yummy. I’ve even created mt own dishes a time or two. Twice, I made stuffed shells–once for a dinner party and once for a family holiday. I don’t hate the kitchen, but I don’t find myself in there when I’m thinking about how to spend some fun time.

Twice I’ve used a deep fryer. Once was during Christmas time when I volunteered to make the frittamiste, and it took all day, and I’ll never do it again. The other time was when I attempted to make fried Oreos, and they came out okay, but never again because no one needs to make fried Oreos. That’s what fairgrounds are for.

I surprised myself when I decided to find a recipe that would be kind of like a dessert but also kind of healthy. I’ve been doing a modified Whole 30 because my body is too acidic/pitta/inflamed since the Physical Therapy Tore My Labrum incident (by the way, I’m 100% sure both are torn. One is diagnosed, but both have the same symptoms, so thanks Bob who couldn’t remember which knee he was working on. I’m really enjoying the limp). Plus, since I haven’t been able to work out the past two months the way I’m used to working out — high impact aerobics and kickboxing balanced with weight toning and yoga / yogalates / PiYo–I have to seriously curb my eating. The Great Cellulite Invasion 2017 has already begun, accompanied by The Incredibly Stretching Stretch Marks. I like to eat healthy, and the Whole 30 recipes I have are delicious and filling. Still, I like to have a snack every now and then, and a handful of nuts goes only so far.

Onto the interwebs! I found an easy recipe for a mug cake that uses coconut flour and vanilla extract. It’s paleo but not exactly Whole 30 because of the extract. Still, close enough. It’s not like I’m going to eat a mug cake every hour on the hour. I had most of the ingredients. I knew it might be a bit dry because I didn’t have coconut milk, but I had all the other wet ingredients, so I went into baking mode.

The best thing about mug cake is that it bakes in the microwave. I got a large mug, mixed the dry ingredients, whisked in the wet ingredients, and put it in the microwave. It smelled good as it baked. The microwave beeped. I took it out. It was cake like but also crumbly.

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No raw egg in sight means it’s edible. So I started eating it. As expected, it was dry. It was also kind of bland but sometimes also a hint of salty. And sometimes a hint of coconut but grainy coconut.

Then my mouth started burning. I’m not talking about temperature. I’m talking about, like, you know when you scrape the top of your mouth with scratchy toast and then drink orange juice? Or, like, when you rinse your mouth with peroxide and you feel that chemical sensation? Yeah, so that, but only like also almost dying and for the rest of the day on the sides of my tongue, all around my gums, the roof of my mouth, and into my throat. Basically, I thought I’d poisoned myself. I threw out the cake.

This lasted until bedtime. The next morning, the ordeal had subsided. Also having subsided is my thinking that a handful of nuts will go only so far.

Wave Walk, or To Complete A List

S likes to finish lists. I like to find public art. La Mer’s Wave Walk seemed to be essential to live our lives happily. A way to promote the UN’s focus on clean oceans, La Mer Blue Heart Ocean Fund teamed up with Project O to find celebrities to create pieces of artwork about the ocean. Most are circular waves. A few are surf boards. La Mer posted an interactive map on their website to boast these sculptures.

Fact: This interactive map is the worst map. No matter when or how you open it, it always starts on the sculpture in the Bronx in Yankee Stadium. When you click on it, it sometimes goes to where you want it to go, but mostly, it does whatever it feels like doing.

Fact: The waves are numbered in a way that seems random. I’m guessing they are numbered by how they were commissioned, and then they were placed across the city. However, the placement and the numbers don’t line up, so like #1 is near #45.

Fact: One of the waves listed is not the wave that exists. The lobby of the James Hotel has a fabulous sculpture, but it’s not the one listed on the site.

So the goal to see all the waves also became a project I’m very fond of: map making. I stepped away from using maps for a while–I used to use them in creative writing and literature classes but because the Google and the Flickr change how their map tech works often, I stopped because relearning and reteaching how to make a map takes too much time. Now, however, it was me, the Google, S’s neat organized list of wave sculptures, and a dream.

I saw my first wave by accident. When Eddie and I waited for the right bagels at JFK, I found one. It’s past security, which means public art in this case is open to all those who might have a plane ticket and are flying out of Terminal 4. Finding it was a delight, though.

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Only a few days later, S found some on her own at Albee Square.

Then came our first jaunt out into the wild together. First stop, Sugartarium at Unix Gallery. This has nothing to do with waves and everything to do with her love of sweets and my love of free things to do.

Next stop? Well, that’s when we were using the terrible interactive map that barely works on a desktop computer let alone a cell phone. So we zig zagged through the city and found some near the Flatiron, Brookfield Place, the Oculus, FIT, Wall Street, and Whole Foods on Greenwich. It took hours of confused subway rides and turned around street crossing.

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Near the Flatiron, basically hidden next to a large truck. Also, we couldn’t find the subway downtown after seeing this one so we crossed the same street maybe five times.

At Brookfield. Walked in, out, around, down the promenade, and then across the patio. It’s clearly inside but not on the side where we were inside.

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Down on Wall Street, we made a friend. (The wave is actually outside of the front of the Smithsonian Museum of the American Indian).

We walked by the Oculus and then back by it again. We went inside because S said I should see inside. Then we went outside. Then we looked at the picture on the interactive map and saw that they were actually inside. The address didn’t say that.

Oh sweet magnificent Whole Foods. They had a sign explaining the entire Wave Walk and Project 0 as well as where to find the wave.

The next week, we embarked on Day 2 armed with a better list of our own, a better map of our own, and pure moxie. Day 2 was about 100 degrees.  Thank you, summer, for arriving on the very day we’d be running around from north to south. First stop, Harlem.

It’s 125 under the tressle and not the address they give, but close.

Into the lobby of Sotheby’s where this surf board doesn’t look like the photo on the map.

We then made our way to the UN. We walked uphill and downhill and across streets and back across. We looked at the map. We looked through fences and gates. Finally, S climbed the stairs and peeked inside beyond security to find that they were actually inside the complex.

The security guard told us to simply go across the street and get a pass. It would take five minutes tops. Then we could get inside to see them. Ohhh. Okay. We went across the street, and S went inside while I waited outside as per the guard’s instructions. She came back out holding a blue paper bracelet and said, You wear the wristband, and I get this. She indicated the sticker on her shirt. Hahahahhahahahaaaa.

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We went back across the street and the guard smiled and welcomed us through. Security was quick. The waves were right there along with the other permanent sculptures. Also, there’s a ghost in one of these photos.

As aforementioned, the sun blazed, I sweated a lot, and so the memory of where we went and how we got there drifts fuzzily in my head. At one point, we got on a subway car that was not air conditioned, but we got to sit for a while. A balanced trade. So here are some waves we saw, possibly not in the order we saw them, but since the official map is terrible, this is still better.

Three waves along Madison.

Inside Vivienne Westwood

This one is called Mushball. It’s on either Madison or 3rd. It’s a blur. If it’s on Madison, then one of the ones above listed at Madison is on 3rd. This is very helpful, I know.

The one listed at 611 5th Ave is actually inside Saks. Why not just say “inside Saks?”

We did the hotels together: The James and then Crosby. As indicated before, the one in the lobby of the James is not listed, and the one listed on the map as the one in the lobby is not apparent anywhere in real life. The guys at The James Hotel were really helpful in simply offering up how to see the other two without our asking.

Three at The James Hotel

One at Crosby Hotel

There was also this one outside of the American Folk Art Museum.

Six at the Time Warner Building at Columbus Circle. Oh sweet mercy of air conditioning.

Drenched, thirsty, starving, we headed to Cooper Square at some point. Along the way, I bought some fruit and a protein bar that had chocolate because I was craving both along with a third or fourth bottle of water. We sat in Cooper Square while I ate. The sun had started to set, so it was around only 90 degrees at this point.

S found a 7-11 to get a Coke slurpie. I saw a Vivi’s and got a bubble tea. Oh sweet mercy of air conditioning and ice cold drinks. We also saw some typical NYC scenes along the way.

The Tide Is High wave is listed at The Kimmel Center NYU. We found the Kimmel Center. We walked around the Kimmel Center. I suggested we go into the park across from the Kimmel Center, but the map on the phone told us we were going the wrong way. We went into the Kimmel Center. I sat on the stairs of the Kimmel Center as S climbed them to look around. One of the guards spoke to her about the waves and he was like, I’ll show you. She beckoned me, and I climbed up after her. He took us up the escalator and indicated, It’s through there.

We walked down a hall and entered a room and there it stood. It wasn’t a special wave or THE wave we were looking for. However, something felt magical about it. Maybe because I was about to pass out from heat exhaustion. Maybe because it didn’t have a rope around it as most of the indoor ones do. Maybe because it’s orange and I like orange. Maybe because in the fading light, it glimmered. Again, that could be the onset of dehydration, but still. Magnificent.

We thanked the guard, who had seen quite a few on his own, and called it a day. We’d spent about ten hours searching for waves in NYC summer heat. It was time to pack it in for  now.

As a follow up, S got to see more in Brooklyn, on Roosevelt Island, and in other parts of Manhattan. The outliers are the ones in Yankee Stadium and Staten Island. The list may not have all checks by the time the sculptures come down, but it was an honest and determined effort to finish it.

I realize it’s for a bigger cause. However. The next time anyone wants to set up statues across NYC, call us. We’ll make a map and checklist and maybe we’ll offer prizes. Okay, we’re not offering prizes, but we can make a list and a map. It’s really simple. See?